... 165 kegs of COLD BEER*. You know, those big silver metal "drums" that look like they're made of the same mystery material as your TT. That's the Audi of yours currently without an engine.

You need to put your newly realized wealth to good use by purchasing an obscenely large quantity of COLD BEER*. Be aware that COLD BEER*, lots of it as a matter of fact, is a critical part of this plan.

Get a good number of your most trustworthy pals together, go to the local liquor store (if you live in Canada, go to The Beer Store) and buy all the COLD BEER* they've got on hand. All of it. This is going to be like, well maybe 350 six packs - - possibly more, if they don't carry kegs. You can only use COLD BEER* in bottles or kegs.
CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT FACT #1: If you buy COLD BEER* in cans this plan will not work.

Next, with the help of your buds, carry the COLD BEER* to the house of a friend, or better yet, an acquaintance who doesn't know you well enough to have your home address or phone number.
CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT FACT #2: Don't take the COLD BEER* to your own pad! If this happens, the plan may prove to be hazardous to your health.

Once you get all this COLD BEER* in the fridge, invite the person who bought your motor for 1000 buks to the house and give him/her a lot of your COLD BEER* to drink. Let the buyer down enough of your COLD BEER* so he/she gets WASTED. Serously WASTED to the point where the person who paid 1000 buks for your motor can no longer speak, falls over and drools and vomits all over the floor (this is a compelling reason not to do this at your own place... unless you've got a deal where your girlfriend or mother comes over twice a week to clean).

As soon as you're absolutely certain the person who bought your motor for 1000 buks has passed out, taking care not to slip on the spit and puke, go and find the same friends who helped you carry all your COLD BEER* from the liquor store and go to the house of the person who bought your motor for 1000 buks and take it back. Move the motor to your place, send your pals on their way and then go back to the house where the person who bought your motor for 1000 buks is passed out on the floor.

After you get there, remember to drink enough of the COLD BEER* that's left to get semi-WASTED yourself.
CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT FACT #3: If you ignore this step, the plan has a tendency to completely unravel at this point. Another added bonus is that this part is fun.

Then when the person who bought your motor for 1000 buks wakes up you can tell him/her that you were WASTED too and don't know where the motor you sold them for 1000 buks is and that he/she better leave.

This is a really cool way to get somebody else to pay 1000 buks for COLD BEER* you can use to get totally WASTED... and it's been proven scientifically to work.



Okay, I'll admit there might be some downside to this plan. But Hell, I'm no lawyer and you, sure as sh!t, are no typist... so what have you got to lose? You can have some free barley pop, get a serious buzz on, and lay your hands back on the engine you sold some chump for a thousand dollars at the same time. Do it right and you just might be able to "sell" that engine a couple of more times. Sounds like a pretty simple way to get drunk on the cheap to me.














* MALT LIQUOR may be substituted for COLD BEER if you have some extra cash

Did you know? France is actually an asteroid that smashed into Europe 1148 years ago and is populated by the same fun-loving Space Aliens with a wicked sense of humor that rode it down from deep space!
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