My Joke for the Day.....

[hoTTub]

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common???

Once they are on their back, they are f*cked

[Tron (///M)]

[TTop Gun]

A: A guy who has surfed the web so much he knows 2,193 ways to have sex... but doesn't know any women!!!

[suiTTman]

[sandra]

[OTOF]

She knows 2,193 men, and they are all computer geeks.

[sandra]

[OTOF]

[TTop Gun]

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: Penicillin

Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

Q: How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
A: Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What men know about women."

Q: What is the thickest book in the world?
A: "What Men Think They Know About Women

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
A: One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

Q: Women dream of world peace, a safe environment and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
A: Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Husband: "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
Wife: "No problem, I'll get you some that is."

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either one.

Q: What do you call a man who lost 95% of his brainpower?
A: A widower

Q: When does a man open the door of the car for his wife?
A1: When he has a new car.
A2: When he has a new wife.

Q: Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A: They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip, you can bite their heads off.

Q: Did you hear about the woman who finally figured men out?
A: She died laughing before she could tell anybody.

Q: If one man can wash one stack of dishes in one hour, how many stacks of dishes can four men wash in four hours?
A: None. They'll all sit down together and watch football on television.

Q: What do you get when four men go fishing and one comes back after having caught nothing?
A: "Three Men And A Baby"

Q: Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?
a) Get away or I'll call the police!!!
b) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

[sandra]