How to change your Auxilary Fan w/o removing bumper (sorry no pictures was in a rush)

SupraTL · 08-07-2006, 11:33 AM

1) Spend $340.00 at dealer for new in stock auxilary fan 4Z7 959 455.

2) Watch your credit card burst into flames.

3) Return to the Curbside location nearest you (available in all 50 States, look out your window for your nearest one!)

4) Open hood. Note how hot car is.

5) Go upstairs, change into garage clothes.

6) Come downstairs, get first beer.

7) Enjoy.

8) Loosen clamp on intake to TBB for pass side intercooler.

9) Loosen two clamps holding DV.

10) Remove DV.

11) Loosen clamp on intercooler to intake pipe.

12) Remove 10mm bolt holding intake pipe to it's mount. Finish that beer now. This bolt will be the cause of 40 minutes of trying to line everything back up.

13) Remove bi-pipe. Stuff paper towels in openings.

14) Look down at fan, laugh at it, inform it it is now your bitch.

15) Burn yourself of the extremely hot engine. You've been pwned.

16) Remove one phillips head screw holding in fan. Twist fan clockwise and pull towards engine.

17) Burn self again. Return to garage for another beer.

18) Beer soothes burns....when ingested.

19) Remove plastic cover over the PS Reserve.

20) See those three plugs? You want the very bottom black one. Unclip it.

21) Follow the wire and remove it from the clips that retain it.

22) Remove fan. Make primal noises, drink beer, celebrate your victory, seek neighborhood cat to eat over your still flaming credit card.

23) RUN THE NEW FAN WIRE BEFORE PUTTING FAN IN!!

24) Refer to 23.

25) Seat fan on engine, run wire into clips. If you didn't let the car cool down, you're going to get burned a lot...again.

26) Plug in new fan wire. Notice warning sticker about fan starting at any time. Ignore it. You are the man, do not be owned by a sticker.

27) Beer, lots of it to soothe the resulting burns.

28) Get another beer.

29) Install fan in shroud, and reinstall screw.

30) More victory beer.

31) Look at bi-pipe.

32) Spend 20 minutes attempting to get it back into intercooler hose.

33) Spend 2 minutes plugging DV in.

34) Spend 1 minute insterting into TBB.

35) Tighten all the clamps.

36) Attempt 1 at putting in bolt. Fail. Repeat at least 70 times.

37) Say fvck it, push metal support out of way, install bolt into pipe.

38) Put all covers back on.

39) Start car. Turn on A/C. Fan works. Consume beer.

40) Urinate on old fan, go inside happy.

RKA · 08-07-2006, 11:38 AM

you've got a big bladder!

LI-S4 · 08-07-2006, 11:48 AM

Rare Silver S4 · 08-07-2006, 11:50 AM

very detailed directions.... now i know what to do when im reading all those stickers... haha

Audis or VWs 4Life · 08-07-2006, 11:58 AM

forced2induce · 08-07-2006, 12:32 PM

EdyJun · 08-07-2006, 03:34 PM

-SlowSilverTIPJason- · 08-07-2006, 04:32 PM

scottr20ae · 07-17-2010, 08:23 PM

Dang, that was funny. I don't know if you have written others or not, but I deefinitely recognize your writing style, and believe I have laughed at your directions before.

Props for a good write-up, and humor to boot. I recently replaced my accessory belt-tensioner, so I know all about that fan, just not the wiring.

08-07-2006, 11:33 AM	#1
SupraTL AudiWorld Senior Member Account #: 97791 Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 1,309	How to change your Auxilary Fan w/o removing bumper (sorry no pictures was in a rush) 1) Spend $340.00 at dealer for new in stock auxilary fan 4Z7 959 455. 2) Watch your credit card burst into flames. 3) Return to the Curbside location nearest you (available in all 50 States, look out your window for your nearest one!) 4) Open hood. Note how hot car is. 5) Go upstairs, change into garage clothes. 6) Come downstairs, get first beer. 7) Enjoy. 8) Loosen clamp on intake to TBB for pass side intercooler. 9) Loosen two clamps holding DV. 10) Remove DV. 11) Loosen clamp on intercooler to intake pipe. 12) Remove 10mm bolt holding intake pipe to it's mount. Finish that beer now. This bolt will be the cause of 40 minutes of trying to line everything back up. 13) Remove bi-pipe. Stuff paper towels in openings. 14) Look down at fan, laugh at it, inform it it is now your bitch. 15) Burn yourself of the extremely hot engine. You've been pwned. 16) Remove one phillips head screw holding in fan. Twist fan clockwise and pull towards engine. 17) Burn self again. Return to garage for another beer. 18) Beer soothes burns....when ingested. 19) Remove plastic cover over the PS Reserve. 20) See those three plugs? You want the very bottom black one. Unclip it. 21) Follow the wire and remove it from the clips that retain it. 22) Remove fan. Make primal noises, drink beer, celebrate your victory, seek neighborhood cat to eat over your still flaming credit card. 23) RUN THE NEW FAN WIRE BEFORE PUTTING FAN IN!! 24) Refer to 23. 25) Seat fan on engine, run wire into clips. If you didn't let the car cool down, you're going to get burned a lot...again. 26) Plug in new fan wire. Notice warning sticker about fan starting at any time. Ignore it. You are the man, do not be owned by a sticker. 27) Beer, lots of it to soothe the resulting burns. 28) Get another beer. 29) Install fan in shroud, and reinstall screw. 30) More victory beer. 31) Look at bi-pipe. 32) Spend 20 minutes attempting to get it back into intercooler hose. 33) Spend 2 minutes plugging DV in. 34) Spend 1 minute insterting into TBB. 35) Tighten all the clamps. 36) Attempt 1 at putting in bolt. Fail. Repeat at least 70 times. 37) Say fvck it, push metal support out of way, install bolt into pipe. 38) Put all covers back on. 39) Start car. Turn on A/C. Fan works. Consume beer. 40) Urinate on old fan, go inside happy. __________________

08-07-2006, 11:38 AM	#2
RKA Member Account #: 2062 Join Date: Mar 2000 Posts: 67,025	Damn you've got a big bladder! __________________ 2005.5 A4 Avant 2.0T Quattro 6MT APR 91/93/100 \| APR Exhaust \| 19" BBS RS-GT's \| Carbonio \| Hotchkis \| Partridge-in-a-pear-tree Others: 2006 TL on the block 2001 S4 sold 2000 A4 sold * September 11th, 2001 - Never Forget *

08-07-2006, 11:48 AM	#3
LI-S4 AudiWorld Super User Account #: 24785 Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 18,081	That there is funny..... __________________ "My wheel bolts require more torque than your Honda makes..." Valentine One Remote Display My Wheel Repair NASA Style The Unofficial AW Buyer / Seller Feedback Thread The nOOb FAQ ~ LI-S4 Style Everything I write is my opinion. You are free to adopt it or discard it. If I say it, it's because I believe it to be 100% true...That is all. ...THE FIRST MOD SHOULD BE DRIVING SCHOOL - O.W.K.

08-07-2006, 11:50 AM	#4
Rare Silver S4 Audiworld Junior Member Account #: 112285 Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 72	lol.... very detailed directions.... now i know what to do when im reading all those stickers... haha __________________

08-07-2006, 11:58 AM	#5
Audis or VWs 4Life AudiWorld Super User Account #: 28993 Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 5,751	Think they'll add this to the tech section? __________________ ------------------------------------ "I hope that I will soon forget the Audi Quattro. Until I do, I shall continue to worship that bitch goddess Success at the expense of friends, family, honesty and decency - anything to be in a position to have one. The Quattro is evil, an insidious witch in the guise of state-of-the-art engineering, a circe who commands your obedience every waking moment and a succubus who haunts every dream. She's the seductress who recreates That First Time all over again, who snips all your tethers to innocence and changes your life forever."--Four Wheeler Magazine 1982 2006 A8L Blk/Blk 4 Zone, Dual Pane, Heated & Cooled Seats, and a few other goodies. Former: 2004 S4 Nogaro Blue/Silver 2000 S4 Blk/Blk 2002 VW Jetta TDI Silver/Blk 1990 200 Quattro Red/Tan 1991 V8 Quattro 5spd Stick (rare) Blk/Blk 1987 5000 Quattro 5spd 1983 5000 S 5spd (263k miles on the original clutch!) 1979 911 Targa -- Ran on av gas.

08-07-2006, 12:32 PM	#6
forced2induce Member Account #: 96304 Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 3,759	effing awesome post!

08-07-2006, 03:34 PM	#7
EdyJun AudiWorld Super User Account #: 48484 Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2,719	<tracking for my site> __________________ 2000 Audi S4 STG 3 FATS = 3.66 w/ 91 oct AIM: EdyJun 11 September 2001 In their honor. In their memory. <font color="red">---------------------------------------------------------- <u><big> <a href="http://homepage.mac.com/edyjun1/S4/index.htm">EdyJun's S4 Directory (FAQ, DIY, Info, Tips and Help) </a> </big> </u>---------------------------------------------------------- </font>

08-07-2006, 04:32 PM	#8
-SlowSilverTIPJason- Senior Member Account #: 96506 Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,510	"You are the man, do not be owned by a sticker." HOF. __________________

07-17-2010, 08:23 PM	#9
scottr20ae Audiworld Junior Member Account #: 160926 Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 50	Dang, that was funny. I don't know if you have written others or not, but I deefinitely recognize your writing style, and believe I have laughed at your directions before. Props for a good write-up, and humor to boot. I recently replaced my accessory belt-tensioner, so I know all about that fan, just not the wiring.

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