TIPTRONIC TRANSMISSION F.A.Q by Mike2KS4

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Q: How can I prevent this intense desire to jump into a hot shower in order to scrub the shame off me after driving my tip?

A: Unfortunately, there is no cure for this condition. The best way to minimize the amount of shame felt is to decrease the "walk of shame" distance between your car and destination. The shorter your walk, fewer passersby can observe you in your vulnerable state.
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Q:Will shifter paddles somehow restore a portion of my pride?

A:Unfortunately, no. The presence of a Torque-converter in the tip prevents this mod from doing anything more than increasing your laziness quotient. This decreases the pace of aforementioned "walk of shame".
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Q: I have a friend who has a Tip problem and is oblivious to it. How can I help him?

A: An intervention is in order. In order for a Tiptronic intervention to be successful, the location is key: I suggest Newark, Boston or Camden.
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Q: Ok, I've had enough. My left leg is starting to become atrophied. How can I properly dispose of my Tip?

A: Selling a Tip can be a difficult prospect, as is cleaning vomitus and spit off the car upon the potential buyers reaction to seeing the lack of a third pedal and proper gearshift. The cleanest solution would be to throw *yourself* an intervention. See above for recommended locations.
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2002 S4 Avant, 6spd. Bone stock.





Caveat: Any advice I express regarding potential tuning and such is purely informational. If your knowledge and abilities are not up to the task, no amount of advice can assist.