Bottom line: You have to pull the engine.
The coolant decreases the lubricity of the oil and it seems the Al parts are suffering worst. If you've caught it early enough you may not need to replace anything but the part causing the leak.
I'd be willing to bet the cam bearings are still in-spec. I'd probably take one of the valve-covers off and plastigauge a couple bearing caps at random to reassure myself.
One thing you can do immediately, is pull your plugs. If you have a head-gasket leaking into the cylinder it should be quite apparent.
As far as warped heads or block go, It's unlikely. If troubleshooting leads you to where the block and heads meet, after checking the trueness of the head/block with a straightedge I would just replace the head-gaskets with thicker RS4 units and call it a day.
2002 S4 Avant, 6spd. Bone stock.


Caveat: Any advice I express regarding potential tuning and such is purely informational. If your knowledge and abilities are not up to the task, no amount of advice can assist.