Rain + parking brake induced slides make for a fun morning commute to work! That is all.
11-19-2004, 07:03 AM
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It was a dark and rainy Thursday night...
Driving a Ford Focus rental equipped with an e-brake while the S was in the shop. Head over to Tako to the weekly DC S4 gathering at the time, pimping the Focus HARD. Punk-*** S4 buddies were jealous (think Smokey and Cube in Friday on the front porch saying "Daaaaaamn!"). Park the Focus and head inside.
Once inside, I had to beat off the honies with a stick, especially Homewrecker - man, that girl wouldn't leave me alone. I make my way over to where my jealous S4 buddies are sitting, and they were all giving me mAd PrOpZ for the Focus, AnotherDrew especially.
Sometime during the conversation (after we concluded that silver is pitifully slow and that there aren't enough Matts), AnotherDrew and I began talking about e-brake turns. I mentioned that I'd never done them before, and AnotherDrew volunteered to show me in the Focus. Seemed like a good idea at the time (rainy, not many cars on the road, and I needed to get away from the girls throwing their panties at me), so we went outside to the Focus. We got in with AnotherDrew driving and proceeded to whip out a couple of nice e-brake turns around some corners. Not the most responsible thing to be doing on public streets, but after I learned of AnotherDrew's various felony convictions, it didn't surprise me. All he kept saying was "dude, if I see a cop, I'm running. I'm not going back there." Then, he shifted his seating position as if his *** hurt...
Anyway, we park the Focus without arousing any cops, and head back inside Tako, where the females broke into spontaneous cheer upon my return. Quite a moving experience, actually. Just to get back to our table, I had to decline various offers for threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes - I already had my fill for the day (what do you think I was doing before I ever got to Tako?). I kicked it a little bit there, putting on a dance clinic for all of the busters who thought that they could dance - they weren't prepared for me to whip out the breakin' mat and do a few headspins. I also showed KJ some skills on the turntable, and he was like "dude, can I be your apprentice?" I told him he was fired and sat back down.
Eventually, I got pretty tired of the constant solicitations from the women, so I decided to leave. Said goodbye to my S4 buddies and took off in the dope Focus. On my way home, I was anxious to try some e-brake turns myself, and I knew that the large parking lot outside my apartment complex would be an ideal spot. However, I was a bit dizzy from those headspins, so I forgot about the cop that likes to sit there at night and hang out in the parking lot...
I arrive home, pull into the parking lot, and immediately start mashing the throttle, turning the wheel, and yanking on the e-brake. I got a couple of good spins in there, and as I came to a stop about the third time, I looked up to realize that I was facing the parked cop car, who was only about 20 yards away. When I pulled in, he was hidden behind a truck, and I didn't notice him as I was looking out my side window in preparation for the turns. I ended up doing about three or four e-brake turns immediately in front of him.
Well, that last time when I finally noticed him, he fires up the light bar, drives the 20 yards over to me, and gets out of the car. The truck also comes over and its driver gets out - apparently his buddy, an off-duty officer, who was there just killing some time. I get out with a sheepish grin on my face as the cop asks what the hell I was doing. I told him that it was a rental and I wanted to have a little bit of fun with it. I told him that I'd never done an e-brake turn before and that my buddies told me to try it. I think he was dumbfounded. The off-duty cop was on the other side of the car and called us both over, where he pointed out that the passenger rear tire was now flat (I must have pulled it off the bead or hit a pothole while sliding). Both cops thought that the flat tire was enough trouble for one night, so they let me go home - nice guys.
I changed the flat in my garage to the spare tire, took the Focus to the rental place the next day, and requested another car. That, my friends is how the now <a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/s4/msgs/1292736.phtml">infamous Taurus</a> came to be autocrossed. The Focus was going to be the weapon of choice, but the Taurus was its replacement. Good times in rental cars last summer!
*Okay, so I embellished some details about Tako. But the driving stuff is true. And we really did agree that silver is the slowest.*
Once inside, I had to beat off the honies with a stick, especially Homewrecker - man, that girl wouldn't leave me alone. I make my way over to where my jealous S4 buddies are sitting, and they were all giving me mAd PrOpZ for the Focus, AnotherDrew especially.
Sometime during the conversation (after we concluded that silver is pitifully slow and that there aren't enough Matts), AnotherDrew and I began talking about e-brake turns. I mentioned that I'd never done them before, and AnotherDrew volunteered to show me in the Focus. Seemed like a good idea at the time (rainy, not many cars on the road, and I needed to get away from the girls throwing their panties at me), so we went outside to the Focus. We got in with AnotherDrew driving and proceeded to whip out a couple of nice e-brake turns around some corners. Not the most responsible thing to be doing on public streets, but after I learned of AnotherDrew's various felony convictions, it didn't surprise me. All he kept saying was "dude, if I see a cop, I'm running. I'm not going back there." Then, he shifted his seating position as if his *** hurt...
Anyway, we park the Focus without arousing any cops, and head back inside Tako, where the females broke into spontaneous cheer upon my return. Quite a moving experience, actually. Just to get back to our table, I had to decline various offers for threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes - I already had my fill for the day (what do you think I was doing before I ever got to Tako?). I kicked it a little bit there, putting on a dance clinic for all of the busters who thought that they could dance - they weren't prepared for me to whip out the breakin' mat and do a few headspins. I also showed KJ some skills on the turntable, and he was like "dude, can I be your apprentice?" I told him he was fired and sat back down.
Eventually, I got pretty tired of the constant solicitations from the women, so I decided to leave. Said goodbye to my S4 buddies and took off in the dope Focus. On my way home, I was anxious to try some e-brake turns myself, and I knew that the large parking lot outside my apartment complex would be an ideal spot. However, I was a bit dizzy from those headspins, so I forgot about the cop that likes to sit there at night and hang out in the parking lot...
I arrive home, pull into the parking lot, and immediately start mashing the throttle, turning the wheel, and yanking on the e-brake. I got a couple of good spins in there, and as I came to a stop about the third time, I looked up to realize that I was facing the parked cop car, who was only about 20 yards away. When I pulled in, he was hidden behind a truck, and I didn't notice him as I was looking out my side window in preparation for the turns. I ended up doing about three or four e-brake turns immediately in front of him.
Well, that last time when I finally noticed him, he fires up the light bar, drives the 20 yards over to me, and gets out of the car. The truck also comes over and its driver gets out - apparently his buddy, an off-duty officer, who was there just killing some time. I get out with a sheepish grin on my face as the cop asks what the hell I was doing. I told him that it was a rental and I wanted to have a little bit of fun with it. I told him that I'd never done an e-brake turn before and that my buddies told me to try it. I think he was dumbfounded. The off-duty cop was on the other side of the car and called us both over, where he pointed out that the passenger rear tire was now flat (I must have pulled it off the bead or hit a pothole while sliding). Both cops thought that the flat tire was enough trouble for one night, so they let me go home - nice guys.
I changed the flat in my garage to the spare tire, took the Focus to the rental place the next day, and requested another car. That, my friends is how the now <a href="https://forums.audiworld.com/s4/msgs/1292736.phtml">infamous Taurus</a> came to be autocrossed. The Focus was going to be the weapon of choice, but the Taurus was its replacement. Good times in rental cars last summer!
*Okay, so I embellished some details about Tako. But the driving stuff is true. And we really did agree that silver is the slowest.*
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11-19-2004, 08:41 AM
#10
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That's hilarious Matt!
I've done similiar stunts in rental cars. Once I had a dodge NEON and I live at the bottom of about a 1.5 mile hill. I bet my buddy I could get all the way to the bottom without the rear tires rolling. I locked them up at about 30mph via the ebrake and drove to the very bottom of the hill leaving a CLOUD of smoke and two very distinct skid marks from the top to the bottom of the hill. We were both laughing so hard I could barely drive. Anyways as I took a right at the light to head towards my house I quickly realized my rear tires were now shaped like this (_) ! Thump thump thump thump all the way back to the rental car place.