Something that I can run (preferrably from a floppy) that will say what type of memory, # of pins, total amount, # of chips, and # of slots. Any ideas?

Just go to any of these websites
http://www.crucial.com
or http:://www.kingston.com
You can search for memory over there depending on your brand of PC.

It won't run off a floppy (that I know of), but <a href="http://www.sisoftware.demon.co.uk/sandra/index.htm">SiSoft Sandra</a> will report some detailed data on the kind of memory installed in each slot.