the controller for the 360 sucks for realism.

I hear that Logitech has a fairly nice setup that people like

Its great!

I used one for the first time the other night and hated it!!! My buddy and I messed with the settings a little bit and it improved a little, but it still felt pretty slushy and non responsive. I'd also recommend using the table clamp. I was just resting it on my lap and it was sliding all over the place, which made it a little difficult and very non-realistic. I guess I had high hopes for it and heard it was really cool, but was very disappointed.

cranked up all the feedback but the motors inside just arnt strong enough and just feels funny to be cranking a lil prastic wheel

It is something you have to get used to.

the controller was better

Measure the pedals and steering wheel in your car and set up the ms wheel and pedals accordingly.