Sorry I didn't have anything more substantial to give you (the subject line was too much of a setup for me to resist), but as pointed out, some of us need to have a little fun now and then.

Good luck - I sincerely hope you get the answers you're seeking.

MODS/UPGRADES:
17x8" BBS RKs (great AW story about how I got them...) | H-sport anti-sway bars | ToyGuy short shifter |
IceLink/iPod integration | Escort 8500 hardwire | fog/running light rewire | HomeLink home lighting control |
fold-down bag hooks in the trunk | aux power socket under the armrest | hidden Symphony EQ settings |
remote locking control recode | debadged

SUGGESTED READING FOR C5 A6 OWNERS:
2001 A6 info from AudiWorld | 2001 A6 info from Edmunds.com |
Audi 2001 maintenance schedule | Stoney's links (the ultimate A6 links page) |
the nOOb's guide to everything | how to make your car shine

The other ride: 1998 Mitsubishi Montero (typically with a kayak on top)